Gods Among Animals
We Act On Impulse Manifesto
My earliest memories are of playing with slugs in a broken dryer outside of our rat-infested house of yore. I remember very clearly breaking out in a full body rash. Sensitive skin is a burden I carry.
I was always nice to the animals, the slugs, whatnot. My neighbor, a girl I was friends with for a long time, drowned all the slugs. I'm not sure how water could kill a slug, but she managed to pull it off. All I wanted to do was play with slugs.
I played with her Barbie dolls a lot. I always liked being a girl more than being a boy, but I had expectations to live up to.
One day she said I should come out to the shed to play doctor. You know where this is going. Once the cat was out of the bag, I was asked to keep it a secret by everybody involved. Ok.
I never questioned why I suffer. I have so many good experiences, it really drowns out any suffering I do have, even the most extreme.
Happiness is a path we choose to walk, and i've walked that path since my earliest age.
Something tugged me from the back of my mind. It said it was all a lie.
At the early age of 10 I found myself going to Church, and having an affair. I feel like we used each other for experimentation. There was a subtle whistle of emptiness.
My Sunday school teacher constantly remarked I was the smartest. I realized quickly I was the only one who actually cared. Everybody else was there for status, or to feel better than "heathens", or to hook up with some manager and score a nice job. After awhile, I only went there to hook up with that girl. I read the Bible on my own time. There was a shining light, a man would occasionally leave bread for anybody to take.
Me and my beloved brother mostly played with dirt and sticks. The Gamecube was nice, I had varied activities, but when that was ripped from me so was my appreciation for nature. I realized the cold, empty abyss of the world and slipped into a deep depression. This lasted for seven years.
I spent my teenage years dwelling on it, allowing the emptiness and rage to fester. I slowly developed a bloodlust which could never be satisfied. Everybody was empty, including me. I could no longer feel, or smell. I spent my days listening to Black Dahlia Murder for their vivid, bloody descriptions; That is, until that was ripped from me too.
Ahh, yes. A typical "everything I love is taken from me." for seven years. My life became a constant downward spiral. I found myself doing anything to feel something, anything. Eating, raping, stomping ant hills, nothing could get me away from this emptiness. I made no progress, 10 to 16. We moved after my mom had a panic attack. She later went on to beat cancer, Thank God!
At 16 I hated myself. The grinding, agonizing guilty yet physical pain had caught up to me. Remorse for the rapes, I was never caught. I picked up a job which lasted 2 years.
At my job, people considered me an exceptionally happy and respectful person. This surprised me. I was simply acting out my insecurities and treating life as the game it really is. The real truth is that I was happy and respectful by contrast.
Even though I hated my life, hated my job, hated myself, was workin' hard for nothin' and giving all my money to the man who I thought at the time was my dad, my mother respected me. Why? Because I had a job. Nobody really cares. That's something I hold strongly to this day.
I had made a Youtube video which went viral by surprise. I was making more money on Youtube than at my job. Once I quit, it seems like anybody and everybody, close to me or barely spoke to, was concerned. Not a real concern, though. For some reason, everybody seemed scared. Why are people I don't even know giving me suggestions for places to apply, like, going out of their way and shit?
Youtube didn't last long and I fell into the trap of trying to make a career out of it with no material. I didn't know what to do and it wasn't long before Youtube was paying me enough to keep up my cigarette smoking habit. I took up a delivery driver job and started smoking weed.
The only people I genuinely interacted with were either drug dealers or literally homeless junkies who hung around that dude, and some guy who we'll call muffin who used to be a co-worker of mine.
To the detriment of my car and career, I spent all my money on weed because it was the only thing that made the pain go away. These most genuine interactions were mostly empty, but we were giggling and empty. That was better than anything I had felt for the past 5 or 6 years, so fuck it. It was around this time I realized I am energy sensitive and that's why I never liked crowds.
Then, one day, the only "real person" in this group of dealer and junkies said he knew a guy. We did DMT in muffin's house. I was the only one who broke through. I didn't take much from the experience because I wasn't listening to the being speaking to me, but I did realize 2 things. I was perceiving a reality beyond physical life, most likely the reality we first go to when we die, and I want to die. Understand this, 2 months earlier I had an experience with k2 where I was pure pain and torture. With DMT, I was free.
I did DMT several other times but never broke through. I saw evilness.
All my friends left me, my car had a cracked radiator and was chewing through batteries because of my subwoofers, I couldn't afford gas to drive my job and I wanted to die. I cut with a broken razor in preparation for suicide and realized I can feel something. The sting of pain.
Now poor, not knowing if i'm going to eat tomorrow or not, I could no longer afford drugs and sought any escape. I found an old can of refrigerant I had used on my car. Huffing is the worst experience ever, but so savagely addicting. I found myself huffing 5, 6 times, lying in my bed. I guess 5 times doesn't mean much to you if you've never huffed. I just wanted my heart to stop.
I eventually called the suicide hotline. I stayed in a ward on suicide watch. I left with pills, diagnosed gender dysphoric with severe manic depressive bipolar disorder (which worsens as I age.) I continued to see therapists.
I learned my dad is not my dad, just some white trash piece of shit. I see it in his eyes... the fear.
One day I told a psycho-therapist that I feel cold empty and scared. I looked into her eyes and saw she felt the same way... I stopped seeing therapists.
Now the story gets interesting.
I realized I trust no one. I have only myself. I'm the only one who is reliable to me. All of my problems are mine to solve and nobody can really help me, no matter what.
I had been seeing Angel Numbers for years and finally decided to Google "111 meaning" or something along those lines and found JOANNE SACRED SCRIBES. Joanne Walmsley is the fucking best. To this day I allow the Angels to guide me and I follow the guidance from the Angels.
I fall in love. Honestly, I didn't know any intellectuals besides myself and my brother existed on the planet. I had went to College for a little bit but dropped out, only ever seeing whiny leftists and fat bastards.
He was a tall man, striking, always had plenty of weed to smoke and he helped to pull me out of a dark place, at least a little bit. We grew a lot together and learned a lot from each other. We had planned to start a "hacking team" but I was the only one who learned or did anything, or put any effort into the relationship at all. It wasn't long before I was making hella dough drug dealing, trading bitcoin and cashing out stolen credit cards. I found it was the same situation with my now removed former stepfather. I was always giving him money. All the work was somehow on my back. You never needed me before, so why do you say you need me now? Ultimately, it wasn't money that tore us apart, but I.
I started doing LSD and became way smarter than everybody around me, seriously. My story quickly shifts to the story of Janie from Original Life by Jay Naylor. The star athlete who is scorned rather than admired. Nobody really cares.
My life completely turns around. All of a sudden I have plenty of space, drugs and money. I ordered something off Amazon every day! I could just smoke weed and drop tabs every day. I gave up carding because, fuck it, i'm making more money being honest and tripping on LSD!!!
I had such vivid trips. So full of life and energy. It was listening to Mooji's words I found myself and that emptiness was filled. Through LSD, I saw the life in life! My appreciation for nature was restored. My meditation skill went through the roof, being able to talk to Angels and even God.
However, it's not LSD who taught me. LSD is just an amplifier. I was doing my research hardcore. I was using LSD to make my mind go faster.
I did way too much LSD. Talk about going through 5-strips in a week and shit. I was addicted to LSD and didn't realize, because...
LSD helped me to:
Break free from old restraints and constraints in every way.
Eat healthier and in better portions at better times.
Drop my addictions to nicotine, caffeine, sugar, video games, etc.
Lose concept of time and instead go with the way Angels view time, in cycles and phases. (Much better!)
Motivation to do work was through the roof. Mowing the grass on acid is insanely fun!
I "get" the teachings of the Christ and the Buddha.
Understand and appreciate art & the importance of art.
Get some real exercise and have fun! Jumping on the trampoline on acid! Running up the street aimlessly on acid!
See & Understand.
You see, LSD showed me how to see beneath the surface. i see right through people, right down to the inner divinity or lack thereof. I can feel my brain and see others. I don't need to read minds because I know what somebody else's mind is going to say before their mind even says it. To me, the mind is an archaic, glitchy device. I can "think" with myself, my inner divinity. I don't need my mind and I see my mind from an outsider perspective. This has allowed me to realize how predictable the mind is. There's nothing to it, really. I can communicate with telepathy and energy. I can even tell who's walking around my house with energy, who's walking around outside my house if I want to, I can even tell who's listening to me from the other room and whether or not they understand what i'm saying. The body and mind are basically antennas. Tune into the right frequency. It's that fucking simple.
I have found something. All I wanted to do was show others that they have it too.
Everybody sees my abundant health & wealth, but because they know I did LSD, i'm considered unhealthy. This is coming from alcoholics, cigarette smokers, pill poppers, cheese eaters and other such unknowing junkies who don't even realize they're junkies. The effect I get from a cup of coffee is just as strong as an adderall and motherfuckers act like they're better than you because they're "sober" when really they're adderall junkies. What it really is... is people copy and pasting their insecurities onto you. Nobody really cares.
You see, the mind likes to categorize and define, as well as think about anything other than what's happening right now! "Will a fox jump out of the bush at me? I'm scared. Gee, I sure could use something to eat. I'm hungry" The curse of the mind is that it repeats everything. Pay attention, every thought you have repeats at least once.
And this shit is so simple. Imagine this conversation. I see that somebody is empty, scared and every thought they have repeats which is a torture to them. The constant chatter of the mind bothers them. This person, regardless of who it is because it always plays out the same way, will deny these simple and obvious truths to the end of the Earth. At first I thought people just denied anything I have to say, but that's not it. They lied to themselves. Rather than dealing with their problems, people just deny that there's even a problem in the first place, but that doesn't make it go away... Your mind is still chattering 24/7 giving you headaches and whatnot, you're still empty and you're still scared. I'm just trying to help!!!
If you're someplace, but your mind is someplace else, you're not really there.
This has been the case you're entire life. Your mind has always been someplace else.
Maybe by going to a metal concert you can get a brief moment where it appears you're not thinking of something as you thrash your head about. maybe by dancing you feel like you're free from the tightness in your chest, the buzzing of the mind and the constant pressure of the world. Maybe by jumping out of an airplane you can feel light, rather than heavy. Subconscious motivations are obvious. It's the surface level justifications that scare me.
Really, are you conscious? What thought is there in mindlessly shuffling reports and opening your fridge 20 times a night before you just say "to hell with it" and grab a raw hot dog wiener? I don't need you to be embarassed. I realize you fuck your wife with a limp dick because that's what everybody does! You're all living the same life!!!
That's how I can sit there and tell somebody their life story. It's because you're all living the same life.
There are things you need to understand.
The mind is constantly chattering.
Every thought you have repeats.
If this is your body than who are you?
You've always been thinking of something other than what's right in front of your face.
Once you realize who you really are you become the master of all forces, energy and elements and anything can be manifested by you. This was the case the whole time you just didn't realize it. You're God.
You are God.
I'm telling you. I'm not sure if animals have this but they probably do. You are not the mind, you are not the body, you are I AM. God has been controlling these bodies the whole time, though he cuts himself off from the wicked, and you are I AM. I AM the Ultimate God.
Now, let's really get into it.
What defines a God? Sure, I AM is the ultimate God but there are other Gods. So... What makes a God a God?
Animals are completely autonomous. They seem to have all their thoughts pre-loaded at birth. Nobody teaches a bird to fly or build a nest, they just do. Animals have no originality, they do the same things over and over again and most of them can't help it. I say most because there are animals who do psychedelic drugs and i'm not sure about them. Has a dog ever had a bright idea? Has a mule ever invented anything? No.
It was when man picked up a flint & steel, casting the first fire. That is when we became Gods. Not only are you the ultimate God I AM, you know, on the inside (it's hard to explain until you find yourself), you're also a God if you've ever had an original thought.
This is art! I'm describing art! God made everything because he had an original thought, as any God does, so he made art! Nature is God's art, and so is your art. It is God's art. the whole entire point of anything being made by God was just to have art. Art is the entire reason the universe "exists".
Without art, without original thought, we're no better than the animals. When I see a 9 to 5 worker, I see an animal. When I see an artist, I see a God.